I wanted to start a series of letters to my baby Leonardo. I know these are not food-related but my life right now is revolving around this sweet boy. I don’t want to post a million pictures on facebook so if you want to follow the journey of our sweet boy, this is the place it will happen. 🙂
15th November 2019
One Month Old
One month ago today marks the day you came into the world. It was a tough delivery. One that taught me I’m so much stronger than I ever knew I was. From the minute you were placed on my chest I knew I loved you.
The first few days were rough. You had jaundice and had to be put under the lights while grandma, dad and I camped out in a hospital room.
The doctor wanted me to give formula because my milk hadn’t come in yet and he needed lots of liquid to flush out the bilirubin. This was against our wishes as formulas have sugar or corn syrup solids in them. I instead pumped whatever colostrum I had and fed this through a tube at every feeding.
The 2 extra days of hospital stay consisted of pumping, feeding and trying to get in a nap before the next pump and feed which happened around the clock.
This was taxing and tiring on my already exhausted body but I was determined to not use formula on you. Your dad and grandmas were both amazing. They had been awake consistently throughout my long delivery and not complained one bit.
I felt like an emotional wreck. The fact that I couldn’t help you made me bawl. All I could do was to pump and try and feed you as often as possible.
Your dad would go get hot water to make us tea and do food runs back home to get us freezer meals I had luckily prepared with a friend of mine. He would massage my feet and tell me what a great job I’m doing.
The Saturday we were told we could leave felt like the happiest moment. We would get to take you home. We packed up the hospital room and got you dressed in a cute suit grandma had knitted for you.
Being home was wonderful. Nothing like showering in your own shower and sleeping in your own bed. The next few days were a blur of pediatrician visits, getting your tongue tie clipped and settling in with you. Your grandma and grandpa came to visit from Chicago and you even took a ride to Washington DC.
They often say you have to develop a relationship with your baby. I can vouch for this in our case. You would fuzz and I would be anxious not knowing what was wrong or how to help you. The days pass by and they pass by fast. You become more aware and I become more in tune with your needs.
I love starring at you. Smelling you and kissing your sweet cheeks. The sleeping in intervals doesn’t bother me as much as I thought it would. I happily feed you while finding what works for me and what works for you.
Your papa is an amazing diaper changer and his assistance is so appreciated when I just feel like I can’t get out of bed to get you at 2am. Seeing you two together melts my heart. It’s my happiness overload.
Your dad will sing to you and tell you Spanish stories to get you to sleep and stop crying. He does such a good job at calming you down.
A new routine looks like waking up, feeding, burping, diaper change, eating granola, entertaining you before the next feed burp and diaper change. While you sleep I sometimes nap but mostly I try and do something productive, though this doesn’t always happen.
Writing a blog and trying to be creative has been tough. I decided to not be so harsh on myself and just enjoy these moments with you. Enjoy having you sleep on my chest, enjoy feeding you. Showering and doing the pile of laundry that comes with cloth diapering have all become accomplishments for the day. When I do get to bake cakes for orders those are extra accomplishments.
You’re getting so big and starting to make little sounds now. You often try to eat your hand when I’m being slow with the boob. You LOVE the boob and latch on like a vicious Parana fish. You cry if you don’t get the boob and boy, oh boy it’s a performance. Your face gets super red as you scream and that’s when I give up and immediately give you what you want.
I was told newborns feed every 2-3 hours. Sometimes you will want more food after an hour. In a 24 hours day, you will be on the boob for probably 18 hours or at least that’s how it feels.
You have no idea how much you are loved. How many people ask about you or want to see pictures of you. You’re a little celebrity in our families now and we just adore you and all your littleness which is getting so big.
You are fierce and so strong. The way you pull at my hair already and press your legs to stand up, has me wondering what you will be like in the next few weeks. I don’t ever want to forget these little moments my baby. They are so precious.
You love sleeping on a chest in a little ball and hate sleeping on your back. You love being naked and kicking your legs furiously when we change your diaper. You hate your hands being swaddled and like to have your hands in your face. You don’t like posing for photoshoots and don’t sleep for long hours during the day.
Happy one-month-old my sweet baby boy. Mamma loves you more than you will ever know.
Thank you for enriching our lives in so many ways.
Love you now and always